


Interstices

by Joanne_c



Category: Hail Caesar! (2016)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:38:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joanne_c/pseuds/Joanne_c
Summary: It takes place through the interstices of their lives. The snatched moments, that someday won't be there any more.





	Interstices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heather](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heather/gifts).



There was really no other choice. This relationship (not that Burt ever uttered the word aloud) couldn't take place anywhere but behind closed doors, in the dark.

It was the way it was, and that was all it could ever be.

Did Burt think of it another way? Of course, but it was always a dream. Something that could never be a reality. The reality for men like them was that they lived in the interstices of life.

They couldn't walk down the red carpet at the premier of Laurence's new movie arm in arm, dressed in tailored tuxedos. Well, they might be able to get away with that as director and star, but the part that would never happen would be a soft kiss as they went into the movie.

Sometimes, Burt wished he could just be himself. No more lies about dating women. No more fake dates with girls who liked girls as much as he liked guys. No. Goddamned. Denial.

But he accepted it. As an actor, he could fake it even if he didn't like it. He wasn't going to fake it as far as some of the guys he knew. No marriage to a woman who had no idea about her husband's true feelings. He wouldn't put another person through that.

There were good parts, though. Burt liked his life. He loved his dog. Even if he couldn't say it aloud too often, he loved Laurence.

The feel of Laurence's hand on his neck, in his hair. Drawing close to feel the other man's strength against him. Those surprisingly soft lips on his. Those moments were the ones that made every lie to the press and public worth it.

Their place, too. They couldn't openly live together, and deliberately maintained separate homes, but they had their own place, for weekends and longer vacations. Tucked away in the Hollywood Hills, secure as their combined needs could make it, but it was theirs.

The time there, that was Burt's favorite time. He didn't have to pretend to be anyone else. Just Laurence's, and Laurence was his and it was all he needed. He stored up the moments, days, hours they had together. Skin touching, hands exploring, it was all memories to be kept for when he was alone and he had to hold onto his memories.

He didn't think about it often, but Burt knew that this couldn't last. Men like them didn't stay together forever. It wasn't an option, simple as that. Simple, and complicated. Laurence never let him bring it up. He thought perhaps Laurence was in another kind of denial, that maybe he wanted to enjoy things while they lasted. Burt couldn't be sure, but it wasn't like he didn't get that, either.

So he pushed his own doubts aside, and like Laurence, enjoyed the interstices. The snatched kisses behind locked doors. The long weekends at their place. Taking vacations that were a week - and even, sometimes, more - alone together. Not always at their place, though Burt definitely preferred that, but sometimes at other people's estates. Alone, so they could be themselves, hold hands as they walked around the mansions of other men like them.

Burt didn't want a mansion. If he could? He'd take a cottage and Laurence and the dogs for the rest of their lives. But, again, reality wouldn't allow that. He had to keep to what he could have, so he swam in the luxury pools with Laurence. Stripped off his trunks and felt Laurence's mouth on him and didn't think about much else for the rest of the night.

Or they'd relax in a four-poster bed that could sleep a literal football team. Almost lose each other in the covers, but they'd find each other and kiss for endless moments. Those were another thing Burt kept for his memories. He could honestly say that he could kiss Laurence a million times and never get tired of it.

He could kiss him all over, and never get tired of that, either. It felt like every time they were together, Burt would discover a new sensitive place on Laurence, somewhere that made him moan, or writhe, or whimper. Not that Laurence couldn't do the same to him, discovery happened for them both every time.

They did things Burt hadn't even known were possible to do. He wondered if it was to do with Laurence being from Europe, or experienced in a different way than Burt was. He wasn't jealous - much - that Laurence had learned things with others, Burt had learned with others too. He did occasionally wonder where Laurence had discovered some technique, but usually he was too full of pleasure to wonder.

It wasn't only sex. Laurence would let Burt take care of him. Pipe and slippers, or at least their equivalent. Even sometimes having dinner ready, though Burt had always said he would draw the line at a frilly apron, though Laurence's remark that he'd be okay if that was all Burt wore had led to a quickie that still made Burt hard to think of it.

Laurence wasn't bad at the domestic side of things, either. He made exotic dishes that Burt enjoyed, but more for Laurence taking the time than for anything else about them. Or Laurence would come home with something for the dog, and Burt would fall in love all over again. He couldn't say it as much as he wanted, but he couldn't deny it, either.

Healthy as he was, Burt sometimes got sick. Laurence had come to him when he'd been shivering in bed with a cold. A cool hand, soon replaced by a cool cloth, a few soothing words, and Burt had slept. When he'd woken, he had wondered if it was a dream, until he saw Laurence at the door with a tray of chicken soup - he could smell it even through the congestion in his nose.

"True love is taking care of me when I'm like this," Burt had joked, but for once, Laurence had taken it seriously. It wasn't that he didn't show it, but it was rare that he said the words.

"It is," he had agreed. He'd held Burt's warm hand as he ate. That had been perhaps the only time - not counting snatched quickies - that Laurence had never added a precaution of it not lasting forever.

It wasn't like Burt didn't add it mentally, but he'd exulted in that moment, unwell as he felt. Laurence felt the same. No matter how futile the wanting, at least they both wanted it.

It didn't last forever - not that Burt had expected it - but when it ended, they both said that they would take the memories.

It was enough.


End file.
